We talked about self worth, confidence and careers and just what needs to happen with our lives and who we are. That we are daughters of a wonderful king who loves us so much.
So. Here's how it went..in a down low version.
"What if you don't get famous?"
"Listen. It's not about really getting famous. It is but it isn't. It's about knowing that I could be writing music with the best of the best.. you know be a recording studio every day. Or going to rehearsals with people who love to perform just as much as I do and put on tons of make up and wear crazy costumes and hearing crowds cheer. I don't care about a red carpet and a vogue magazine photo shoot... That just comes with it. But the fact that I could get to do that everyday.. I don't care if it's an unstable career. Entertainment means unstable because your first day could be your last. But I don't care. I can't afford to.. because the second I do begin to care about money and if it'll work and will it last, I know it wont."
"I don't wanna get married. That's so crazy that he wants to soooo bad but if he's ready good for him."
"You may say that but deep down inside you want to get married and have that life of your own and be with that someone so bad."
Pause.
One of us realized at about 12:45am that yes.. There is someone out there for her.. but that fairytale might not come in this life.. but maybe the next. Which is great because he'll be in his perfect state and he wont have to go through the stupid crap we're going through right now but at the same time so sad. Because she has to wait. She has to wait till the end. She see's that at the end of the day she'll come home to an empty home, no one to welcome her with a kiss.
And she doesn't understand why her. Why she has to watch everyone else find their "one" when all she wants to do is feel the same way. Just like them, know what it's like to be loved by someone else. Yeah she's 20 now and she doesn't want to get married right this second but... will she end up an old maid for the rest of her life?
The other for some reason doesn't like herself. WHICH I think is really sad because she is GORGEOUS!!! Every part of her.
"I feel like I'm going to be a disappointment to them. I'm not like my sisters..."
"Disappointment?! You are CA-razy!!"
She also needs to get out of her house. She loves her parents but... Sometimes she just wants to get out and run. Drop everything and go somewhere where no one can catch her. Leave it all behind.
She loves to help people but is that really what she wants to do?
"I'm not good at it but.. I really wanna write. Be a journalist and travel the world and learn about others and write their stories.. but it's not a good job money wise.."
"Do you practice writing on the side? Get a BLOG!!"
Journalist huh? I never would've thought.
Don't worry.. Through out this whole thing we're crying. It's about 1:15 and we're just right outside my house. Sitting in the car. Crying. Hey why not.
We talked about other stuff that I will leave out but what we got out of this waaaasssss...
That we need to incorporate the gospel in all of this. Have it in our lives which we do but really have it. We need to change. We need to read our scriptures every day and pray to our Heavenly Father every day and night and for sure will our questions be answered.
Tonight we'll be sad but it'll all be okay in the morning. By the end of all of this we're going to be okay. And we're gonna be happy. We're gonna keep on keepin on and do what we do best: Be Who We Are. And we'll be happy.
We're going to find that pursuit of happiness.
In 5 years. Where are we going to be?
Happy. And we're going to look back on
this crazy night and say, "Woooow those girls were crazy!"
"Do you love me?"
"Yes. I do love you."
"Good. I love you too."
"Maybe someday, we'll figure all this out
We'll put an end to all our doubt.
Try to find a way to make this better now...
Cause sometimes we don't really notice
Just how good it can get."
-Rob Thomas
No comments:
Post a Comment