After weeks and weeks of emotional distress and annoiance... I have come to this conclusion. I am a very emotional/vulnerable girl. I'm the girl who stays awake at night for two hours wondering about the things I could have done, the words I should have said, why I did this, why I didn't do that... I listen to the same songs over and over again because the words which are being spoken are pertaining to my life at that particular moment, I read quote after quote after quote until I find the right one...
Yes. I am vibrant, and confident, and loud, and honestly hilarious.
Too bad it's just a front. Too bad that all of that is basically a wall to protect me from being hurt. I see my friends get hurt from their relationshiop problems and I'm just like... good thing no one likes me because this would be a really big problem..
I'm a sunshinning bumble bee on the outside and most times but ... I am also such a worry wort deep down.
And something else.
I will never ever. I will not be yelled at. I will not be faught with. I will not be disgraced.
I will be loved and cared for. I will be spoken to with words of kindness. I will be charieshed.
And I will not have my kids afraid of their dad. No run aways. No screamers. No beatend.
Yes there will be arguments and mis understandings but never a "prison" or a place of unsurity or just plain scary....
Sometimes I wonder if what would happen in my house if just all of a sudden... I wasn't there. Really. Just what would they do if I left and never came back.. My dad would hate me. He'd send someone to kill prolly...
What if I was a rebel? That would be bad.
Dear Australia,
I honestly can not tell you how excited I am for our first date :)
Sincerely,
girlwhohasbeendrowninginhersadpittifullife.
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